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...or in other words, what on earth are we playing at? 

It's so much more fun this way! We tried the conventional funding route but we got sick before we even started of the funding agencies endless BS. Sod all that, we said. Yah boo to that. We'll produce the damn thing ourselves. This way, we get to be in charge. 

What is the Tea Machine about? 

It's a 20 minute industrial drama set in a Manchester case making factory in 1980. When the prices of the factory tea machine are increased without warning : the workforce decide what needs to be done. 

You can read a longer description here

This is its 30th Anniversary and we've hatched a cunning plan to try and pay the actor(s), animator, editor, studios and crew a fee that's at least acceptable for their professional services. This is in keeping with the original film's practice to pay cast and crew.   People I have spoken to are 'into the idea', knowing it's a bit of left field fun and they're being very supportive. 

Incidentally, when wearing my other hat. as BECTU's Northern Learning Organiser I often find myself arguing, in various forums, for the principle that media work must be paid if members' livelihoods are to be sustainable  or else it is little more than an unpaid hobby. 

I'm sure I've been described as some far from pleasant things over the years but hypocrite and snake oil vendor are not amongst them, I hope. 

Though there was that iffy  time share scheme in Pyongyang that never quite got off the ground…..

Has anyone seen it yet? 

Yes. These people here. They liked it. 

 'The performances achieve a remarkable authenticity'

Paul Habbershon, North West Arts Film Officer

'It's one of the first totally original scores written for an independent movie in England and  Steve Hopkin's tune entitled Tea Machine Dub, which meanders in and out of the film would hold its own as a single release, as well as a soundtrack recording'

 C P Lee, Broadcaster, writer and musician

Buying Your Pre-Release Tea Machine DVD for delivery in November 2010

So what do you get for your 4 mochas worth of investment?

Well the re-mastered Tea Machine for starters

This version will appear on the limited edition of 100 DVD's, which will be produced for the 30th Anniversary. The DVD will include some bloopers, early footage along with photos and anything else we can think of.


The Cro-tones 'Tea Machine Dub' and Cathy la Creme's classic John Cooper Clarke heart-breaker  'I Married A Cult Figure From Salford.'  

The original and re-mixed versions! Plus two new accompanying videos!


At the time, videos to accompany these 'dubble 'B' sides were never made -remember MTV hadn't happened - but now their moment has come.  

If we can raise a small budget of a thousand pounds - here's where your tenner comes in - then the cameras can roll over the late summer with a premiere at the SFF in November.


The original  Tea Machine film poster measuring   18 inches x 25 inches


AND an invite to the premiere in November!

Pick up your goodies on the day and save on the postage.

A no brainer or what?

How much does it cost, and what about postage? 

It costs ten British pounds, and postage is as follows: 

UK - £5.0 

It's the cost of the poster tube for postage that's high plus the hassle of packing so terrific if you can attend and take yours away on the day of the premiere. 

Some of the original people involved will be there so get it signed by the stars!!

How can I pay? 

Credit card, debit card or PayPal

I'm not down with this online gadgetry, man. 

I want to pay by cheque or cash. 

Great for us, as it saves our paying the commission to Paypal so preferred and no problem. We say support your local postie, with your cheque payable to John Crumpton, and your contact details just put in in the post to:

109 Carrington Lane, Sale, M33 5NJ

Don't forget to include the extra £5.00 P&P if you want it posted to you.

Then ideally email so we have your email details on file.

Or give me the cash when you see me! 

What if I want to buy multiple copies or donate more than the £10.00? 

Nothing to stop you being generous. It'll be put into increasing the 'production values', honest. 

The postage costs will be different. email and we'll sort it out separately. 

How long do I have to wait? 

The DVD and poster will be ready for collection at the Salford Film Festival in November, For those people unable to collect, the DVD and poster will be dispatched within 2 weeks afterwards.

How do I know I'll get a DVD? 

As the Captain Beefheart sings 'You gotta trust us before you turn to dust'"

but you can also

Order it as soon as you can. 

Be One of the One Hundred! 

Do your bit by spreading the word. 

I have bought one of your lovely DVDs. 

Where can I go to find out how the project is progressing? 

Please go here and follow John's blog l'll try and keep you up-dated. 

 What if I've given you money but you don't get enough orders to produce the DVD? 

We'll refund you. Don't worry. We will refund you, and we will do it quickly / on demand. We're here to make you happy. 

I'm convinced. I can't wait. Stop messin' about and show me where to go. 

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